Growing with The Nhiras

How To Support Your Spouse's Calling (with John & Natalie Wilds) | Ep 5

• Sonia & Brian • Season 4 • Episode 5

Share episode

In Episode 5 of Growing with the Nhiras, Brian and Sonia welcome John and Natalie Wilds to discuss how couples can support each other’s dreams and callings.

📬 Join Our Mailing List: Be the first to receive updates, encouragement, and behind-the-scenes content → https://tinyurl.com/thenhirafam

📺 Episode Summary:

John shares the story of how he and Natalie met, their early dating experiences, and the journey of supporting each other's vocations despite challenges. They dive into the significance of open communication, intentionality, and grace in marriage. John reflects on the healing power Natalie brought into his life, especially in overcoming past insecurities. Natalie talks about how she laid down her own dreams while supporting John's ministry and highlights the importance of submitting one’s heart to God for peace and clarity. Together, they emphasize the importance of mutual support in both personal and professional lives, demonstrating that a marriage rooted in grace and respect can thrive despite external pressures.

🔔 Don't forget to subscribe, like, and share this episode with someone who needs to hear this!

👉 Subscribe for more episodes on faith, purpose, and relationships.

📱 Stay Connected with Us:
Youtube (video version) : https://www.youtube.com/@TheNhiras
Our Website → thenhiras.com
Book us → info@thenhiras.com
Instagram → https://instagram.com/thenhiras
Facebook → https://facebook.com/thenhiras
TikTok → https://tiktok.com/@thenhiras

🙌 About Our Channel:

We are Brian and Sonia—a married couple on a journey to learn and grow with you in the areas of faith, purpose, and relationship. We hope that this community serves to uplift you and adds value to your life.

Welcome to the family 💛

SPEAKER_00:

Were there dreams that you had that

SPEAKER_03:

you presented to each other? Came home from a trip. She said, I got it, babe. And I said, what? And she said, the dream.

SPEAKER_01:

If I'm disappointed with him or upset with him in any situation, I lay it down with the Lord.

SPEAKER_03:

Because not every opportunity is your opportunity. Just because an opportunity is presented to you doesn't mean that God wants you to take it.

SPEAKER_01:

It starts with you as an individual. The weeds in your own garden. So then when you come together, there's no weeds to distract that time that you do spend together.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm very excited for today.

SPEAKER_00:

Oh my gosh, I'm so excited about this episode. I've been waiting for this episode all day long. I'm waiting for it. Honestly, whenever I texted... Because you and I, when we're in our pre-production meetings, we're like, who are our dream guests? We

SPEAKER_02:

literally said,

SPEAKER_00:

who are your dream guests? I was like, man, this is my dream guest. I don't think they'll say yes. I don't think you'll say yes. But I was like, John and Natalie Wilds are two guests that I would absolutely love to have. By God's grace, they have said yes. Welcome to the podcast, John and Natalie. We're so excited that you... have joined us. We love y'all so much. Love you. Thank you for having us. I want to give a little background on how you and I met, John. So it was, I calculated, it was 13 years ago. I was a sophomore at Oral Roberts University and Wayne and Jennifer Lee invited you to come leave worship at our chapel. And I remember I sang BGVs for you. during that trip. And I was very new to worship during that time. And so I had no clue what I was doing up there.

SPEAKER_02:

He was only familiar with show choir.

SPEAKER_00:

I was familiar with show choir. That was the context of music that I had been. I mean, I had been traveling with my parents, singing specials in church. But I remember I was just so impressed by more than your gift, but the content of your character as we had the opportunity to work with you. And years later, years and years later, you've had many seasons that I'll let you explain. You've been serving at different churches. But years later, at Legacy Nashville whenever Sonia and I came here I remember everybody would talk about John Wilds and I was like you know what I know him I know John and so we had the opportunity to reconnect here at Legacy and it's just been the joy of my life over the last couple of years being connected to you because you're such an incredible man of God we're so grateful for all that God is doing in your life so we're grateful that you are here

SPEAKER_02:

yeah and I And I told Brian, I was like, yeah, John is cool. I like John. He's cool, but I want to talk to his wife. I want to talk to the man of God's wife because I know being married to you, there's some wisdom and experience that I'd love to pick her brain about. And I'm just so excited that we get to hear from you today, Natalie. So

SPEAKER_00:

welcome. I'm excited. So as we dive in. I'm excited as well. As we dive in. dive in we want to hear about your love story and we want to we want to know how did you guys get together you've been married for many many years so can you start by sharing that with us

SPEAKER_03:

yeah before she does that because I'm gonna make her do that but before she does that I want to say like when we reconnected and I came to Legacy Church one of the things I actually tell people this everywhere I go that struck me the most about the culture of the house where you guys are is that I came in and I travel a lot. I go to places all over and people are so gracious and kind to me and they're so honoring. And that was the case with Legacy. But what went over the top for me is that they somehow reached out to my assistant and And I think they had gotten my address or something. And you guys sent a gift that was specifically for my wife to say thank you for allowing me to come. And that... has stuck with me since then. And I tell people that all the time, everywhere I go, that it was so intentional and I appreciated it so much that, that someone would think about the sacrifice that she's making by allowing me to come. So I wanted to share that. Now you can tell them how we met and all that.

SPEAKER_01:

Well, so, um, I moved to Florida in 2004 and I started going to, um, a church in Brandon, Florida. And a couple months later, he was hired as the worship leader. And at first, you know, that's cool. You know, everyone shook his hand, we met him, and then...

SPEAKER_03:

She held my hand a little longer. I'm just kidding. I love it.

SPEAKER_01:

I wasn't even thinking about him, and I'm sure he wasn't thinking about me. And was it a couple weeks later, my mom had that weird vision. So we're in church, and my mom has this vision, I guess, and she sees him. sitting in my living room on a red sofa that I had with his feet up on the coffee table. And I'm from New York. You don't put your feet up on the coffee table. So that was the only thing I was thinking when she told me that. It's like, why does he have his feet on my coffee table?

SPEAKER_03:

This is during service.

SPEAKER_01:

Yes, this is church service going on. My mom is cracking up and I'm like, this is embarrassing. What are you laughing about? And then, you know, she finally told me because she couldn't stop laughing. And so, I mean, maybe after that, like that just went on the shelf somewhere. And so maybe like in March. Yeah, it was in March. For some reason, we just we connected somehow. We started talking outside.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I was standing outside and it was after a service. I was standing outside. She walked up to me and just started making small talk. So we were just having a conversation. And then. You asked me if I was married. She asked me if I was married. I said no. And that led to this whole conversation about people in ministry and marriage and all that. And I said, well, how old do you think I am? And I don't remember the answer to that. But I told her, I said, well, I'm 20. And I said, I don't ask a woman their age. And I kind of put my hand out. I'm not going to ask you your age, but that's me saying I want to know. And she was 30. So I said, whoa, which she does not. She did not then and still doesn't look her age. And so that led to this whole convo. And then I

SPEAKER_01:

asked him out. Wow.

SPEAKER_03:

She did. She asked me out, y'all.

SPEAKER_02:

Let's go, Natalie.

SPEAKER_01:

Come

SPEAKER_02:

on.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. So a month later, it was April 9th that we went out.

SPEAKER_02:

And

SPEAKER_03:

we, you know, I tell people all the time, I went to Walmart after that. I got a broom and I swept her right off her feet. And

SPEAKER_02:

how long have you guys been married?

SPEAKER_03:

18

SPEAKER_00:

years this coming

SPEAKER_03:

March,

SPEAKER_00:

next month. That's amazing. What did your courting season look like? Your courting and your dating season look like?

SPEAKER_01:

A

SPEAKER_00:

lot

SPEAKER_03:

of time with her mom.

SPEAKER_01:

we did spend a lot of time with my mom and my mom was just cool like that there'll

SPEAKER_00:

be

SPEAKER_01:

times when my mom and john would be having coffee just cracking up laughing and i'm just like what is happening down here it's just them just joking around laughing and drinking coffee

SPEAKER_03:

yeah her mom her mom went on our first you know she said it wasn't a date but her mom went on our first hangout together with us and honestly her mom and I are still very close like I would call her just to laugh right now and

SPEAKER_02:

that's awesome

SPEAKER_03:

and so we've always been really close but yeah so we we spent a lot of time with her mom and her fam so that's how the early time of our dating started and then I'd say her mom goes, well, why don't you guys just, okay, drop me off and you guys go and hang out, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

Giving us hints, like, go on your own. That

SPEAKER_00:

is so sweet. How soon did you know, John, like, this is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with?

SPEAKER_03:

I knew our very first meal together. Wow.

UNKNOWN:

Wow.

SPEAKER_03:

When she made... Her plate was massive. I said, that's my... No, I'm just kidding. No, I knew our first meal because the way that she... You are too much. Hey, I don't know how we're going to make it through this. But anyway, the way that she interacted with her mom and I saw their relationship and how close they were and how much she valued that, I knew then. And obviously her breathtaking beauty and all of that was also a part of it. But she was so kind, so gracious, the way that she carried herself, all of that. I knew right away. I was like, uh-oh, I'm in trouble.

SPEAKER_02:

And Natalie, what about you? When did the Lord start moving on your heart?

SPEAKER_01:

I'd say a month later. into dating him after I don't know what we were doing we were at my house and then I just first everything just got quiet in my head and all I heard was the Lord say lower your expectations of him wow and then from there on it was that was it because I knew that this was it

SPEAKER_02:

wow

SPEAKER_03:

see she lowered her expectations

SPEAKER_01:

no You know, we put expectations on people that are ridiculous. And so, you know,

SPEAKER_02:

and that's a word for all the ladies, honestly. And we have such high, unrealistic expectations. That are just, it's crushing, you know, to compete with that. You know, and so that's a word of wisdom for sure.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. So today we want to talk about supporting kids. Our spouses in their callings and in the things that god has assigned them to do in life One of the questions just to kick off this conversation that I have um for both of you is Were there dreams that you had? You know that you presented to each other while you were uh in the process of dating and when you were stating those things and the things just talking about how God has called you to this this or that like how did you how did you handle that especially because there's a an age difference John I would love for you to start by answering that question

SPEAKER_03:

yeah I think early on we knew I knew that I would I didn't know it looked like this today but I knew that I had in my heart to be in ministry full time and to travel and lead worship. And so that was one of the conversations that we had early on was, you know, this is in my heart to travel. How do you feel about that? And we came up with, you know, an agreement back then. about travel and how long I would be away before it's too much and all that. That's awesome. That's good. And I don't know if we'll get to that later, but yeah, that was a dream that was in my heart. I didn't want very much. I've always been pretty simple in what I want. I love what I get to do. I love getting to lead people in worship. I love the church. I love ministry. And then I've always had this entrepreneurial thing since I was a kid. But anything I've ever wanted to do, she's always been so... honoring of it and supportive of it never complaining and uh yeah but that was one of the things that we said early on was the travel thing

SPEAKER_02:

yeah

SPEAKER_03:

that's amazing

SPEAKER_02:

you know i'm curious was that so when you did you guys sit down and say okay this is what i feel like is all my life like there was an actual like forthcoming like conversation and was it just you know did both of you share like this is what i feel like is all my life too And, you know, I'm just curious, like how that conversation went.

SPEAKER_03:

You want to say

SPEAKER_01:

that? I don't think at that time that I, I think I, the dream that I had to be, to own a school, I put it on the shelf. And so, and it wasn't like I said, okay, I can't do this. You know, because I'm married and we have children and he's in ministry and all of that stuff. It just happened to go on the shelf. And I was just doing what I was supposed to do, you know, being a wife, mom and teacher. I love doing all of those things. So it, you know, it just something that just naturally just flowed. It wasn't I didn't question it or anything. It just flowed that way. And, you know, God's grace has always been with us through it all. So,

SPEAKER_02:

yeah. And I'm curious, John, what did you see in your wife or even in the dating phase? What did the Lord reveal about, you know, things that he had gifted her with or maybe some divine assignments? If at all, the Lord spoke about that.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, one of the things that she brought was healing in the way that she carried herself, the way that she loved her family. I learned a lot from my mom. She was and still is the strongest woman that I've ever met. But there were a lot of things as a child that honestly needed healing. And ultimately, the Lord is my source and strength and hope and healer. But he really used her to heal a lot of perspective things for me. You know, I saw just a really healthy dynamic of someone that really values their family, someone who's extremely selfless. always putting others before themselves, always supportive, always honoring, always gracious, always praying.

SPEAKER_02:

Come on.

SPEAKER_03:

You know, covering her family, covering her kids. And there was this culture really about her and her mom, too, that was just so unique. They spent, and they still do this, I mean, for as long as I've known her. They spend every Saturday together. They just have this appointment that they go shopping, they eat, You do grocery shopping, they hang out together, have lunch together, whatever. And every now and then I get an invite to be with them. But they, you know, that to me has been even that, I don't know, I think I've shared this with you before, but that to me is just so special. So I would say that's one of the things I saw in her was that, man, this is someone who is so selfless and puts their family first and is extremely gracious. I think she's just a carrier of grace.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Amen. Oh, my gosh. I love that so much. What are some of those like would you mind diving deeper on some of those areas of healing that, you know, your wife has helped you walk in? I know your testimony a little bit about your testimony. If you want to share it, feel free. But what are some of those like specific areas of healing that your wife has helped you walk through in your life that's made you the man you are today?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, well, I would say because of coming from a broken home, you typically struggle, which I did, you struggle with the thought that maybe I'm insignificant and I don't have what it takes to be a good husband, a good father, a good man, period. So to have someone in your life that consistently affirms you, I mean, sees the shortcomings for sure. I'm sure she has seen many of them. But to consistently... Pray for me. You know, obviously there were times that she would just put her hand on my leg and just pray for me. If I was stressed, if I was worried about something, not even realizing that what I was worried about had to do with something that I hadn't broken in my childhood. So if it was a financial thing, if it was me feeling inadequate, if it was any of that kind of stuff, I didn't have to be afraid to actually show her that vulnerability because she covered me in all of those seasons. And I think that's one of the things that brought the most healing to me. I know there were times I question, am I, am I a good, I'd actually ask her, am I a good husband? You know, and, and she would totally always affirm. Wow. Always cover, always pray, always speaking life into me. And I think that's one of the things, people see this John Wilds and all the accomplishments and all of those things, but I am well aware. I actually said this to her a few months ago. We were sitting in the car and I said, someone asked me the question, how does your wife do with you traveling so much? And I said, you know, people ask me that all the time. And she looked at me and she said, I have no say in that. And I said, what do you mean you don't have any say in that? And she goes, what say do I have in that? And I went, huh? I thought I was thinking one thing. And I just pointed at my ring and I said, this is the say you have in it. You could say whatever you need to say, anything. I said, you're my wife. You can say whatever you want. And she's like, no, I know. And I knew a long time ago, the Lord called you to do that. So when he says go, you go. And I just went, that's not normal. No, it's not. Wow, that is huge. It's not normal, but I'm so thankful for it. Because that honestly, and that's healing too.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

I hadn't seen ministry done very well. I came from a ministry that was broken. I mean, everything was broken. And so those are the types of areas that God has used her to bring healing where really grace brings healing sometimes. Sometimes the way to allow the Lord to use you is to come in with humility and grace and patience. And so that's how the Lord's used her.

SPEAKER_02:

So Natalie, how did you keep your heart pure? And keep your heart posture in a way that was, you know, really a place of potentially long suffering. Because if I look at the picture of, okay, husband is away for a certain amount of time. I have a job. I have kids. So how did you keep your heart posture constant in supporting him in that way?

SPEAKER_01:

Just staying connected with the Lord. If you personally don't have... an intimate relationship with God, then, you know, you're going to be really weak in those times and it's going to be hurtful to you. Not that it hasn't, but because I've laid down whatever I feel to the Lord, you know, if I'm disappointed with him or upset with him in any situation, I lay it down with the Lord to first find out like, is this just me? Am I needing attention or whatever it is? And then the Lord will lead me to share it with him or it's already forgotten. Like God had given me peace for it. And so that's how I approached everything. And so that, you know, that carried me through. That

SPEAKER_00:

is so powerful. Yeah. I was going to ask a similar question. Like, where do you get that confidence from Natalie? Like, where do you get the groundedness to be able to make a statement? Like, I don't have any say. It's the Lord's decision. If the Lord is calling you to go, you need to go. That is truly rare. So, like, where do you get that confidence and that groundedness?

SPEAKER_01:

I would say, again, it's just the Lord because I remember being at a— Is it a soundcheck thingy? Not a soundcheck, recordings. One of those thingies. Is it a soundcheck thingy? You and I are the same. You know, one of those events. And so we were in prayer, you know, during the singing and everything. And it was just a quiet time. And we prayed. And someone came up to me. I don't know who it was. And they just said, the Lord says thank you. Because you say yes to things that Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Well, we want to say thank you for your yes, too. Absolutely. We want to say thank you for your yes. Thank you. Through the years. John, I want to... We've known each other for the last 13 years, man, and it's been unbelievable to see what God has done in your life and to see God. I think one of the greatest testimonies that I get to give anytime someone brings up your name or talks about you is like, He's the same person that I met at Oral Roberts University. I shout that out every single time. He's the same person. The one whom God has elevated in this season, he was the same 13 years ago. And that's been really cool to see God elevate you in the last couple of years and use your voice to really be a beacon of hope and light in the church today. And the question that I have is, It's got to be a little bit... Traumatic isn't the right word by any means. It's got to be a little bit jarring to have a season of elevation like you've had. How have you two handled that? Relationally, the season of elevation where it's like one of the leading worship leaders in the world right now in the last couple of years. How has that been for your family?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, I would say in many ways challenging and challenging in a good way, challenging in a doesn't feel so good way, because obviously, you know, people used to say this all the time and I don't know, but they say new levels, new devils. But I think I think the challenging thing for me has been in a good way. The challenge is. Okay, so are we doing this? I remember when I got one major door that opened for us, I brought it to her and I said, what do you think? And she said, well, I think it's good. I think it's a great idea. And we prayed about it. And I went to my pastors and then we went over to their house and just talked with them. And it was a five, five and a half month process before I said yes. And the only process was us talking and praying about it to make sure that there were no red flags that came up for us. And I think that's a challenge because it's like challenging you. Obviously, you want to go through this door. Everybody wants to accept some sort of opportunity. But I think the challenge for me is Do I need the opportunity? Because one thing my pastor says is not every opportunity is your opportunity. And just because an opportunity is presented to you doesn't mean that God wants you to take it. And so sometimes people see an open door as just the door that you're supposed to walk through. That's good. And I'm well aware that sometimes there have been seasons where the enemy has opened the door and tempted me to walk through it. And the Lord said, no, not right now. And if I had walked through that, I wouldn't have been able to walk through the one that He had for me, which was so much more abundant. And so that would be one of the challenges is to just make sure that I'm not doing anything that the Lord doesn't want me to do. You know, I don't need just another thing to do. The safest place for me to be is in the will of God. So, you know, and me being in His will it guarantees that everything that I cover is covered, right? It guarantees that I'm covered. God is only obligated to cover what's submitted to Him. So I just want to make sure that that's the case. So that was a challenge. But then, I mean, we've had challenges in our family where the enemy just is aware also of... I think the call on your life and what God's doing and all that, and He's not going to let up. It means you're opening yourself up to actually more attack sometimes. And so that's been challenging. But I think the benefit is that, again, I go back to this woman here who I'm a witness. She gets up every morning before the crack of dawn. And she's praying. She's covering her family. She's covering me. I know it. I tell her sometimes, I can feel it. I feel it when you're praying for me. I'm on the other side of the world and I know that she's praying for me and covering our family. And I think that's been one of the greatest blessings. I think I said to her maybe six months ago, I said, you're my secret weapon. Yes. But I think doing everything together this next season the lord told me at the end of 24 maybe 23 23 something something 23 or 24 that this next season will be about family so there's a lot of things that we've been able to step into together so um that's been a benefit

SPEAKER_02:

that's so

SPEAKER_00:

cool amen man that is so beautiful and it's so healthy it's so healthy

SPEAKER_02:

yeah i i'm just curious you know How have you guys prioritized your marriage in like the most practical of ways? You know, like say, for example, you're gone five nights or three nights or whatever. Is there any kind of like rhythms or rituals, if you will, that you guys have upheld over the years to keep you connected, you know, while you've been traveling or maybe you guys always call each other at night, no matter where you are in the world. I'm just curious, you know, like a very practical system that we could give people, especially because we live in Nashville. And so we know a lot of families that are separated out. through their vocations of traveling and singing or doing music. Some type of ministry. Right. Could be ministry, could be secular music. And it's taken often without, especially when people are not being intentional, it really takes a toll. on the family unit and specifically the marriage. And clearly there's fruit here of connectedness. And I just don't believe that good fruit happens just by accident. Cause weeds are what happen no matter what, right? And so how do you clear out those weeds? How do you make sure that the garden of your marriage is prospering?

SPEAKER_01:

Do you wanna answer? I think it starts with you as an individual. The weeds in your own garden. So then when you come together, there's no weeds to distract that time that you do spend together. That's real good.

SPEAKER_02:

I repent. I repent. I'm so convinced. The whole time they've been talking, I'm like, oh, Jesus, I need Natalie in my life.

UNKNOWN:

I'm so convinced.

SPEAKER_00:

That's the real reason why we had you on the podcast today. No, I'm just kidding. A free

SPEAKER_02:

session. Yeah, that's a word. Take care of your own weeds. That's a good word.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, you know what happens? You wanted to say more?

SPEAKER_01:

It's okay. Go

SPEAKER_03:

ahead. Go for it. They hear me all the time.

SPEAKER_01:

I was just going to say a lot of times when you plan... Especially when you're married to someone in ministry and they're traveling all the time. And so it's planning a specific time and a day or whatever that you're going to do something consistently doesn't always work.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

And so... When it does happen and you are able to spend time together, which we do, he plans these big things. He always wants to do really big to make it really special. That's what's so sweet about him and I love him because he's always thinking like that. When you have those times, you have to make it intentional. Those moments, whenever you can have them. Don't set it in your mind like, yes, every Tuesday we're going to meet at 8 o'clock, because then what happens when you don't meet? There's disappointment, possibility of resentment. And so then it makes the next time difficult to really be connected. And so because of the hurt from the last time. And so don't expect that. But just, you know, look forward to it, but in a way that if it doesn't happen, you know, the next time. God will bless us for the next time.

SPEAKER_03:

And really, I point back to the grace because I'm well aware. Like I tell guys all the time because, you know, obviously I talk to a lot of guys who are in ministry and they're married and whatever. The stuff that they are, sometimes they go back home to, you know, I'm like, geez, Lord. And I just take a moment and I thank the Lord because I'm not better than them. It's just that she's got grace on her life and it's crazy. And It's crazy grace. Honestly, it's wild grace. I like that. But no, honestly, it's a grace. And there are times that she will, and I don't know about it, that she'll spend time with the Lord working on that garden, that personal garden. And the Lord, I'll be somewhere and he nudges me and he says, you need to take her out this weekend. You need to do this. You need to do that. Because, I mean, really, I don't know how to be a good husband without the Lord. I don't know how to be a good father. I don't know how to be anything. I'm like, Lord, help brother out. Because, like, I haven't, I didn't always have the best example. Our pastors now are not normal. Like, our pastors, the way that they live out their lives together, I know that that's not normal. I have never seen anything like it. It's so beautiful. The way they love each other, the way they honor their family, the way that they put their family first. It's like a whole thing. And so we have great examples now, and it makes me want to be a better husband and father. But where I am weak, where I struggle, there is so much grace there. And it's not like she's depending on me to complete her. The Lord has completed her. And I think that's one of the things that I tell these young couples. You know, we were talking to a couple that just got married this past weekend. And I said, don't be half full and expect him to fill you. And you don't be half full and expect her to fill you. Let the Lord fill you. Because two halves in a marriage don't make a whole. Like, be whole. so that you are content in who you are. Because if you're not content with who you are, you'll never be content with what you do or what someone else does for you. So I just encourage people, like she said before, like tend to your own garden. And the Lord actually moves on the other person's heart. He's moved on my heart over and over again. And she thinks it's me. So I get the credit, God gets the glory. I get the credit, God gets the glory. No, because it's easy to be busy and forget. And then I'll come home and I say, how are you feeling? How are you feeling about life? I ask her, I'm always asking her how she feels because I want to know because she is so gracious. How do you feel? And she's been praying in tongues for six hours. I don't even know it. But it's so helpful to have someone who's full of grace so that if I do have a season where, man, things are intense and I said yes to a lot, um that I'm not coming home to someone who's nagging and making me feel this angst for ministry like you know what I mean yeah um it's just beautiful so wow

SPEAKER_02:

yeah I'm curious how you keep yourself full John because I know you know ministry is so you pour so much out so how do you have how do you you know, make sure that you have enough energy when you come home, you can actually take your wife out, you know, because I know, you know, for Brian, he does, he actually does the same thing as you is he does a great job, you know, doing big things. for me you know I think about Sunday evenings he has just spent the whole day multiple services pouring out so much virtue you know it's like the scripture Brian was explaining this to me he said it's like the scripture of when the woman with the issue of blood comes and touches the hem of Jesus's robe and virtue came from Jesus well when we're ministering virtue comes from us and we have to retreat and get some renewal so I'm curious you know how you keep keep yourself full for your wife?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, well, it goes back to the same thing as her. I always have to revisit and evaluate, like, am I full so that I have something left? Like, yesterday, I was really tired. I had come back from a... It was a short trip, but there was a lot of delays because of the cold weather. And I got home, and my car is... an hour away because the whole situation. And I had a decision to make, am I gonna go and get my car or am I gonna just stay home? So I got off the plane and I said, let's just go get some Vietnamese. So we both love pho, pho is her love language. So we went and we sat there and we just had dinner together, just the two of us. And then my love language is coffee, so we left. the restaurant we went got coffee together we took it to go and we went home and we chilled and to me that's all like that's that's a great night like just just the time you know i didn't i was like i can go get my car but no i'll go get it another time you know um you know just taking those times and being intentional is uh it goes a long way

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's really good. Intentionality. I think that's one thing that I'm learning a lot about in this season as life is getting busier. Responsibilities are... are being added and, you know, the different things. I started out at Legacy, you know, Sonia and I, we started out as the prayer coordinators. And I was like, it was a stretch to get me to do that, you know? But now I'm the executive pastor and she's the next gen and team pastor. And it's like, oh God, we are in this thing. And we have

SPEAKER_02:

two really small

SPEAKER_00:

bouncing boys. And we have two small boys. And

SPEAKER_02:

someone keeps prophesying that I'm going to have twins. Oh gosh. I'm

SPEAKER_00:

like, if you don't go back to sleep, go back to sleep. Crazy. There was more to this story. Oh, I was just going to let you know. But I've learned that, man, if you're not intentional to make it happen, it won't happen. If you're not intentional to make sure that your spouse feels valued, because I think the temptation that a lot of people in ministry, young people experience, run into is young and old is that they get so much value from what they do on stage and they get so much value for and they feel and they feel like what they're doing is so valuable that family and marriage begins to slip to second third fourth fifth sixth seventh and so I think that it's so important man to all the people who are watching this podcasts who are in ministry and who've watched this podcast because you want to learn something about, you want to learn the secret sauce to John Wilde's life. Oh, Lord. Or to how he got to where he is. I think it's so important to learn that what I am seeing and perceiving is that you've been very intentional in every single season of your life. You've been so intentional to, number one, be aligned with your wife. To be aligned with your wife and to be aligned with her in that which God has called you to do. But not just what God has called you to do, what God has called her to do. I think it's so beautiful that you two have two callings that are not on different ends of the spectrum by any means, but they just look different. I feel like my next question to you would be, John, how do you ensure that Natalie feels valued today? in that her calling matters, you know, in, in a, when you are so celebrated, you're so celebrated. What you do is so public. And what Natalie does or had did for 18 years is really kind of, it's, it's, she was a teacher making a difference in people's life in, in young people's lives, changing the world and in her own right in such a beautiful way. But how do you ensure that she feels valued?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Well, I have to say this, you know, just because you brought the comment up and my heart's like, let that slip. You said the secret sauce to John Wilde's life. I'll tell you the secret sauce is grace. Amen. Because John Wilde's has not, you know, I make it a point. Anytime I'm talking to someone who's asking me questions in a personal context, I go, bro, I was jacked up. I got it wrong a lot. and the secret has been grace. That God's grace is sufficient for you, that there's grace. So I tell people all the time, have grace for yourself and don't cry over the spilled milk. Ask God to help you. So I had to do a lot of praying, and I still do. Lord, make me the man that I need to be. Help me to be the husband that I need to be. Help me to be the father that I need to be. There's a lot of things I had to learn the hard way. And I've had real talks with my kids and go, early on, I could have paid more attention to this. I didn't know what I was doing. And I said, but... you can, now there's grace and we can make this right. So I think the secret sauce for me honestly has been grace and having a gracious wife. So I'm very well aware of that. So I don't want to act like I've had it all together.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you for that. I appreciate that. I think it's so important for people to hear that. It is so important for people to hear that.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, but how I make sure that she feels valued is, you know, I'll sit with her and ask her what's on her heart. You know, I ask her, couple of years ago, what's the dream on your heart? And to be super transparent, there wasn't anything there because I guess she was in a season where it was difficult to dream. And I didn't tell her at that moment, but it actually crushed me inside. And I remember I was leaving to go on a ministry trip and in the hotel room, I brought that up in prayer. I said, Lord, help me Sorry, there's a bug fly. I said, Lord, help me. I'm having a Pentecostal fit over here now. But I said, Lord, help me.

SPEAKER_02:

He was shouting himself down. Yeah,

SPEAKER_03:

Lord, help me. What do I do? I asked him. I said, Lord, what do I do? She doesn't have anything in her heart. And I said, help me with that. And he said... The same way that you are investing in so many people and championing them and you speak life into them and you coach them, you inspire them, you're encouraging them. He said, do that for her. And I told her this later that the reason that I didn't see it that way was because I feel like she is such an accomplished woman. She taught for 18 years. Um, and I mean, had such an impact on even her students. She has many students now that are spiritual kids to us and they come to our houses and they're having babies and they're married and, you know, families. And so she's made such an impact already. I don't even know that she really realized that, but I just didn't see it as like, well, I need to help her like in that way. I just saw it as like, no, I just need to support her. And so I sat down with her when I got home and I said, okay, you're going to dream again. And it was a little, it was probably aggravating for her because I came in like a motivational speaker, but I was obeying the Lord. And I said, no, God's going to give you, some, he's going to breathe on the dreams in your heart. And I just kept speaking life. And then I'd ask her the next day, do you get it? Did you get anything? And she's like, no, not yet. You know, and she got tired of me asking her that. And then one day I came home from a trip. You remember that? I walked in and she was sitting at the dining room table and I was, I had my luggage in my hand and she said, I got it, babe. And I said, what? And she said, the dream. So I was acting dramatic and I threw my luggage to the side and I ran to the table and I said, tell me right now. And I just saw this sparkle in her eyes. And honestly, it made me want to fall apart in the most beautiful way. And so I think, you know, we always, we're not heroes, right? Right. We're not really heroes. I mean, she's a hero, but we're not really heroes. We depend on the Lord. And I think just ask the Lord, like anything that you feel like you're lacking, anything. If you're wanting to help your spouse, if you're wanting to be a better husband, a better, you know, if you want to value them more, like the Lord is actually good at what he does. He's good at leading you, guiding you. He's a wonderful counselor, like all of these things. The Holy Spirit is your friend and he knows everything about her and he knows exactly what she needs. And so if I don't know what she needs, I go to the one who made her and say, what does she need? And he tells me. And so that was honestly the thing for us that I think was a turning point even for her was that I just asked what was on her heart, and then I prayed, and I pray all the time, you know, Lord, okay, however I need to support this, I'm willing to lay this down, this down, this down, just to see her flourish. Wow. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

How does it feel to hear your husband share that about you, Natalie?

SPEAKER_01:

It feels good because... You're always, you know, on this journey, he's traveling and doing everything. And so I'm supporting him. And so me having a dream that I want to actually do and accomplish and him saying that he wants to be a part of that and he wants to support me and everything. And he asks questions all the time. So even with the cookbook I'm writing, he's like, all right, so we need to, you know, what else do we need to do with this so we can finish this? And, you know, he brought up a couple of ideas the other day. And so I think we're going to move forward with that. And so, yeah,

SPEAKER_02:

that's awesome.

SPEAKER_00:

Speaking of cooking, I heard, I heard, and this is what made me, this is what let me know that we got to have Natalie on the pot is, um, John was talking to me about how you cook lunch for the worship team. Is it every Sunday?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Well, it's not the worship team. Some people are on the worship team. It's just a community of people that some are friends. Well, they're all friends, but you know what I mean. Some are just our friends and some are our sons and daughters to us. And there's about close to 30 that show up every week to that.

SPEAKER_00:

Every week they come to their house after church.

SPEAKER_02:

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00:

And Natalie has cooked a meal.

SPEAKER_02:

So amazing. How does that work? See, I'm like, okay, how can I fill this shoe? I can't fill this shoe. Just

SPEAKER_00:

kidding. So the real reason why I brought you on the podcast today is to convince you.

SPEAKER_02:

But he was like, oh, my wife needs to level up. I'm like, babe, I ordered Domino's. I ordered Domino's.

SPEAKER_00:

You're just kidding. No, but for real, we got to get this question answered.

SPEAKER_02:

That's so cool. Okay, so is the cookbook, is it done? Can we get it? Can you bless my marriage? So I can trick Brian that it was me that did it, but just use your recipe?

SPEAKER_01:

It's not complete yet. So it's in the works. It's cooking. Yes. All the recipes and everything is done. It's just like, you know, some photography that needs to be done. He wants it to be the very best.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely, and it's going to be. I'm so excited for it. What makes you do that? What is it that started that? Yeah, I just want to know, because I think that's such a beautiful tradition, and I think that it's a beautiful thing.

SPEAKER_02:

Started what?

SPEAKER_00:

Just cooking for everybody and creating that community together.

SPEAKER_01:

I think it was... john who um when we got married he wanted to invite like a couple every sunday to come over for lunch and so it started that way one couple two three it just got bigger and bigger and bigger and i was like and you know there's times you get overwhelmed with it because it's so many people and you know i'm not a caterer so it's like it's you know it's a lot but and then i'm having to uh cook on saturday and sunday morning so that it's ready for you know sunday lunch so it's yeah

SPEAKER_02:

see that was so when i said so how does that work because i was thinking those logistics to be able to do that that's really impressive i love that

SPEAKER_03:

it's such a beautiful thing go ahead I was going to say it's been a long time now that we've been doing that. And to be honest with you, it was my heart before it was hers. And that's another thing that we had to really have a talk about because I realized that I hadn't communicated my heart behind it, right? Like when I was a kid, I remember us over and over being– evicted. And, you know, many times we didn't know where we were going to stay. You know, we'd get to stay on somebody's couch every now and then or stay at random places. You know, I remember even staying at like a random mechanic shop. And so we always had these places that we had to go to. And I remember this one season where things were really bad and we were about to go into a shelter and we were turned away by by family, and I remember the look on my mom's face, and I just thought, man, I don't ever wanna do that. And even as a kid, I had that thought. And so this heart of mine to be someone who welcomes people into your home, Um, you never know. I know that there were people who fed me that didn't know they were the only ones feeding me for that season. They'd invite me over to their homes to have a meal with their kids because I was a kid and they didn't know that if I didn't eat dinner with their, their family that night, I wasn't going to eat dinner. And so I just know that a meal can go so fast. far. It's one of the reasons I'm connected to some people that I've been friends with for almost 25 years, 30 years is because they invited me over to eat and didn't know that that was a lifesaver for me. And so meals to me, I realize, you know, even in scripture is one of the most intimate things that you can do with someone is break bread with them. And we've seen Oh, we've seen people get saved through it. We've seen people have their families restored because of what they experienced at Sunday lunch. We've seen, you know, people that were at odds with their parents, that relationship restored just because they started coming to Sunday lunch and got around a family. And it's been so healing for so many people. So for me, it's always been more than food. But I realized that I carried a burden and expected her to carry it rather than and bringing it to her and saying, hey, babe, this is a burden of mine. I would love for us to do this together. That was one of the things I had to learn was just because the Lord gives you a burden doesn't mean everybody's going to have that burden. But if he's giving me something, I'm to submit that to her as well, right? And say, hey, this is it. you know, communicate, just communicate. That's it. And, uh, and once I communicated that it was shifting for her and now she's, she started going all out and I was like, wait, hold on now. We're spending too much. Started looking at the bill. Like, Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I know I said I had a heart for this, but yeah, but I think I learned communication through Sunday lunch. I mean, Sunday lunch has impacted me. So I think, but now, I mean, she has relationships with our girls and I just sit back and watch how she ministers to them, you know, and there's things I can't share, like just things that I've seen her literally rescue people. Wow. It's amazing to me what that has been. And now both of us are bought into it. So it's even more impactful to now where she wanted to write a cookbook. And I was like, yeah, let's go for it. So all of her recipes from Sunday Lunch are in the cookbook. That's powerful. It's like it almost turned into a ministry for you too. It did. It did. It did. And people that attend Sunday Lunch, the OGs, they've all written something to go in the book. So it's really special. And that was her dream. So, yeah, I'm just, yeah, God's

SPEAKER_00:

good. That's beautiful. Man, thank you so much for taking time to chat with us today. You all are refreshing to us. Yeah, absolutely. Truly, spending time with you and just listening to you talk about your marriage and what God has done and the lessons you've learned. I know it's going to help so many people. Before we sign off, John, I would love for you to... Pray for couples specifically who are in a season where they're figuring out how to support their spouse and the calling of God on their lives and struggling with that communication aspect and the intentionality that goes into ensuring that you have a healthy marriage in the midst of fulfilling your calling. Could you pray for that?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah. Lord, I thank you for what you've done. Thank you for our story. Thank you for our testimony. Victory after victory, triumph after triumph. Lord, I pray for every couple that will watch this, that will listen and wonder, how do I have a successful marriage? Lord, I just pray that you would... relieve any pressure, any pressure to perform, any pressure to be the best. Lord, you don't ask us to be the best. You just ask us to bring our best. And so, Father, I pray that there would be a grace that is released over every couple. Lord, I pray that there would be a boldness to approach the throne of grace so that we can find mercy. Lord, that they would inquire of you and that you would counsel them, that you would give them everything they need, Lord, to be the husband the wife that they need to be. Lord, I just pray for an outpouring of love. Let there be abundant love, abundant peace, abundant joy, abundant provision, Lord, in every home, every household that's represented by those who are listening. God, cover them. Give them everything they need. Lord, be their everything. Cover them in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.

SPEAKER_00:

Amen. Well, thank you all so much for tuning into the Growing With The Nearest podcast today. Man, if you enjoyed this incredible episode, make sure that you leave us a review on Apple or Spotify, wherever you're listening, and also like and subscribe. You can also find John on Instagram and all over YouTube at John Wilds Music. Is that correct? That's correct. John Wilde's music. And there

SPEAKER_02:

will be a cookbook out soon.

SPEAKER_00:

And the cookbook. And I promise you, whenever the cookbook comes, we're going to buy 10 copies and we're going to give them away on our Instagram. So whenever that happens, we will be promoting the cookbook that Miss Natalie, Mrs. Natalie Wilde is going to be putting out. We love y'all so much and we will see you next episode.